Reciting Kaddish -- Observing Yahrzeit

Reciting Kaddish; Observing Yahrzeit

The Kaddish prayer speaks neither of death nor mourning. It is a praise of God used to close a section of the prayer service. In the Middle Ages the custom developed to dedicate the final Kaddish of the service in memory of those who had died.  The recitation of the Kaddish requires a minyan, a gathering of 10 Jews in prayer. 

The Kaddish offers therapeutic support to the mourner.  Since the mourner needs to attend a minyan when reciting Kaddish they are surrounded by community throughout the time of their mourning.  The practice of reciting the Kaddish allows the community to provide on-going support to the mourner.  Conversely it also protects the mourner from becoming isolated in his or her grief. 

The Kaddish offers support for the soul of the deceased.  Our sages teach that when one recites the Kaddish on behalf of a loved one it helps their soul ascend on their journey.  This folk tradition links the prayers of the mourner with the journey of the soul. 

Jane Eisner writes of her experience reciting the Kaddish for her parents at http://www.philly.com/inquirer/opinion/20070903_The_rare_gifts_of_mourning.html

Kaddish is included at the end of every service of the year.  When or how long one recites the Kaddish varies. 

When one mourns a parent Kaddish is traditionally recited for 11 months following the funeral.  For children, siblings or spouses it is recited for a minimum of 30 days.  The difference stems from the Torah’s command to honor our mother and father, an obligation we do not owe to children, siblings or spouses in the same fashion.  There is, however, no restriction if one wishes to recite Kaddish longer for children, siblings or spouses. 

Additionally one recites Kaddish on the Yahrzeit (anniversary) of the death and during the 4 Yizkor (Memorial) services of the year.  The Yizkor service is included on Yom Kippur and on the last day of Sukkot, Pesach and Shavuot.  If you cannot recite Kaddish on the day of the Yahrzeit you may do so at the Shabbat services that immediately precede or follow the date. 

On the Yahrzeit and at Yizkor it is also traditional to light a Yahrzeit candle, which will burn for 24 hours, on the eve of the anniversary date.  There is no blessing associated with the lighting of the candle, but some families have developed the custom of telling a story about the person being remembered.  It is an easy way to pass on family stories about grandparents or great-grandparents to a younger generation.  We publish a list of current Yahrzeits in the newsletter monthly.  There is a Yahrzeit Finder in the Resources section of our website.

It is also customary to give Tzedakah at the time of a Yahrzeit in memory of the person remembered.  Like the recitation of the prayer, the giving of Tzedakah is understood as a way to aid the soul on its journey and keep the memory alive in this world.